This is the best spam email I have ever seen.

"aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe" (emaxxbl) 12/13/2015 at 14:35 • Filed to: None

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Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 14:50

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So that’s what happened with the money that I sent that Nigerian prince.

PS9 > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 14:58

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So...the feds are going to prosecute without any evidence at all? Also no warrant, arrest, or offer of counsel if you can’t get any yourself? 72hrs from now, some judge somewhere is just going to start hearing arguments that you laundered money from...somewhere?

Nah.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 15:00

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At least it wasn’t Special Agent Alex Kycek

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > PS9 12/13/2015 at 15:01

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dag nabbit the gubbermint is at it a-gain.

djmt1 > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 15:24

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Well this is awkward, given that I’m half English and half Nigerian.

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > djmt1 12/13/2015 at 15:26

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Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > djmt1 12/13/2015 at 16:38

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The northern part or the southern part?

djmt1 > Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready 12/13/2015 at 16:39

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Southern

ranwhenparked > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 16:40

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It is riddled with grammatical errors and makes zero mention of what the “important document” was that’s missing, which is a detail that you would expect the FBI agent handling the case to know.

This also doesn’t seem like the typical case an FIG would handle - maybe, depending on who they think sent the money, and where its going, but it seems more like an IRS or ICE matter.

I can’t imagine anyone falling for that, especially considering that the Federal Republic of Nigeria is actually mentioned by name in it.

ranwhenparked > djmt1 12/13/2015 at 16:41

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Tell me the truth, do you all really have $10,000,000 (ten million United States dollars) stuck in a Swiss bank account that just needs a $10,000 (ten thousand United States dollars) fee payment to access?

pjhusa > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 16:42

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No glaringly bad grammatical errors?

I'm impressed.

djmt1 > ranwhenparked 12/13/2015 at 16:43

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Well if I’m honest it’s only $5,000,000.

ranwhenparked > djmt1 12/13/2015 at 16:43

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That’s still pretty good.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 17:53

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I found this in my e-mail once....I argue that it’s the best spam email ever, and I never even looked at the text, LOL


Note that it’s actually asking a question through improper grammar, not actually telling me he is hired to kill me :P

Tapas > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 12/13/2015 at 18:49

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Of cours, this is exactly how contract killers do business - warn their targets well in advance!

My bird IS the word > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/13/2015 at 19:38

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You need to reply as this:

I will be seeing you soon

-Lord Satan, prince of darkness